Batsmen for T20 World Cup, Angrezabad

Chubby:
"You have got to reduce your tummy dude!" With the rate that it's growing you don't think Chubby may not be able to see his manly-part as his tummy would be obstructing his line-of-sight. You have seen him diving like a hungry jackal on its prey and take in blinders, and you have also seen him but puts down sitters.For the first case you can thank the rubber cushion he posesses, and in later case he has the same cushion obstructing him to lean forward, which we know is uffffff even to every policeman.

Cool, calm and being the main middle-order stay for the Dakkhan team throughout the Premier League you have seen him pulling off a couple of anti-climaxes. His ripping of Bangla Baba's ass, smashing him for 2o in the final over against RaatSawaris still is fresh in our minds and we all would like to see more of this in the WC. And here's the double dhamaka! He has discovered a bowler in himself. Throwing shit on many top batsmen, which includes 3-times in a row with that hattrick against AslamBhais has made him an all-rounder in the making. Guys, good news is that it seems his mommy is now strictly behind his diet him with N-V. This has been a problem with the Chubby-veggie. He couldn't hit the ball always over the ropes. Repeatedly his timing had been perfect but just not enough power to clear the ropes. Probably he should have done a strength-transfer from the grumpy giant, HighDen who anyways now has some fishing jobs to finish. But seeing how far he could strike the ball in Premier League, we are sure it won't be an issue to set the bowler's balls sailing over the short boundaries in Angrezabad

Naina:
Wasn't he the pick of the desi batsmen this tornament. He equaled the big-kangaroo HighDen both in power, style and runs. And what could be a simpler death-warning than this. Both play for the same team! The EnnadaRaskalas. The bowlers were asking for shit 6 times a minute and a few 24 times a match. Averaging around 50 in T20Is and with Premier League strike-rate of 150, Naina is the jewel of the desi team heading to the WC.

We saw the cameos he could pull off even with the ball. Did you know so many of the playing 11 could bowl? What do you think are we? A batting or a bowling powerhouse? Dhobi's and Buddha's out of form should be compensated by Naina if the Captain wants a competitive score. And boy! Hasn't Naina got the best eye-sight. The one-handed blinder packing Buddha's violent show sent down a shiver down my spine. For a moment I thought he hurt himself, truth was he had hurt the batsman. A batting powerhouse, bowling aide, fielding sensation, he is the ideal man of the moment.

Gautam Buddha:
Looks like the Achcha Bachcha of the team and he infact is most of the times. But his spat with the "one-over-max-lasting" King, "Afraid-i" over last tour of Fakistan (it would be long time since the balls get bouncing in the Holy land, unless one wanna have a deadly-adventure camp) proved even gentlemen can "make-you-eat-shit". We know Buddha as a player who can adapt very quickly to any form of the game. We have seen him sweating the bowler's asses if it's a test match and rip it out in a T20 game.

Looking at his physique, neither you nor me could have expected him to sky-rocket the ball 120m, crash it into the commentry box and break half-a-dozen teeth of good-for-nothing Fakistani commentators who have suspected his ability in international cricket lately. We have seen him lead the Bhootnaths almost the entire Premier League season and it's under his captaincy that the Bhootnaths have qualified to the semis without much daredevilry. He may not be the best leader, but he keeps trying, learning and most importantly doesn't lose hope unlike the Prince.

But why has been he been of form and why is his timing now only a little than Appam Chu**ya are the unanswerable questions? The team needs a crackling start in the WC and he is the key man. Hoping he spends more time in the nets and gets back to his classic business.

Prince of Patiala/Punjab:
The "Prince Of Poooonjab" as once said by Boycott is undoubtably the most eccentric player the team has got after the erstwhile Baadshah of Indian Cricket, Shri Gangu-Dadaji who, very fortunately, has been kicked out of the scene for the survival of cricket in India. RGV would be more than happy to cast the Prince in his repeatedly fatal-proving projects, for this Prince comes in as an alarmingly unpredictable guy (much as most of RGVs characters), he has the capability to push a stranded ship single-handedly to the dock or sink the ship even before it's built.

I hold high respect for this man who has kicked every bowler's ass with the hottest iron rod available across the street. But alas, his capabilities as a deputy to Captain Cool has to be questioned. We would be pleased to know if Prince catches hold of a self proclaimed "locally-world-famous" yoga teacher and practises self-control. For all he lacks is common sense and he can very easily buy that atleast. Poor Babli had so much of faith in him to lead her team, but the Prince wasn't lucky enough to get an imprint of her lips much in the first half of this IPL season. The big difference between the Captain and him is "lack of hope".

One bad over doesn't changes it all and his shitty brain needs to know that. And I feel like ripping his ass apart for all the grumpy faces he makes at his teammates for every boundary scored. It's better he concentrates on his batting and pass on the responsibilty he holds to a more matured and composed man. Teams have started beating his technique off-late. Oh God! Please someone tell him he can strike the ball in all the directions. I don't understand why he sticks to stay-on-the-legside rule, as though he is following lane-discipline. Else there wouldn't be any bowler to get 6 on 6 bullets into his ass this time. His job with the ball raised many eyebrows. Two hat-tricks is not a bloody joke and that's kept the Sardars in the hunt in the Premier League.

Dhobi:
Here comes the washerman of the team. All he was taught by his coaches is to phuck the ball right in its ass everytime, no matter "who-the-bloddy-son-of-a-b" bowler he faces. I really appreciate his mantra right from the starting of his career -- "DHULAAYI". And it has been almost 8 years since he entered the international scene and he still does the dhulaayi as efforlessly and diligently as Shri Gangu-Dadaji gets out. It's sad to see Bhootnaths win without the ass-ripper around. But that's a wise decision keeping in view his fitness for the T20 WC.

He hasn't got very big scores in the shortest version of the game as yet and averages around 25. We all love the witnessing Dhobi banging the opponent's balls out of the park, don't we? Lot has been said by bitchy-faced Cric-Gurus, but time and again he has been proving that he is the undisputable ball-phucker in the world. His off-break could be of help depending upon the pitch conditions, but I don't think with a few part-time bowlers too exceling, his services would be required.

He currently is the old-man amongst Captain's men.....(We are talking of mortals,that's men,that's humans....not the immortal God Little Monster). Him being out of touch for almost the entire Premier League season is a bit concern, but again there's no much technique in him to get back. He has the power, he has the game, an he has his mantra.

Badey Miyan:
Firstly, please someone run to him and tell him he looks like some "Salim-Pheku" with those 10 rupees worth road-side fugly goggles he has. Two things happen when you get fame--One, you feel whatever you do is ishtyle, even if it's flashing your dark-stinking ass in public and Two, you become the clown of the town that every daddy is looking forward to show his child.

Secondly, how sick it is to see a 6foot-something man to bowl below 90kmph. Does he spin? Well he thinks so. Anways that's personal. Truth is he has never failed at the international level, but looking at what he has managed in Premier League till now, we should be concerned. He can smash the balls high and hard, really high and really hard and but the bowlers in disgusting pain. With him around, the team has got the batting powerhouse charging enough till 7-8 wickets.

Sending him anywhere before 5 wickets is like making him a suicide-bomber. We have time and again seen him turning matches around in the last overs and it's best not to experiment at such a crucial stage. And yeah, for all his bowling fans, I will have to agree that everytime he comes he picks up wickets, so could be handy but I won't be watching him bowl!