Bowlers for T20 World Cup, Angrezaad

Nogyan:
Our country has always produced wristy spinners right from the age when the Calypsos ruled the game. The fresher is Dhakkans Nogyan who has filled up the void left behind medium pace-spinner Jumbo. This would be his first major tournament and he needs to open his bag of tricks if he wanna be on more tours. There are many budding spinners who are eyeing this only-vacant specialist spinner spot and the Premier League has provided the lauch pad for many including EnnadaRaskalas’s surprise package Jakarta, Sardar’s Power-less and Baby.

It's long since we have had a clever full-time spinner in the squad as the order-of-the-day has been part-time bowlers cum biggest-hitting batsmen. He is the only classy bowler Dakkhans possessed and lack of support from much trusted rural import,V Rau has led them riding down-hill. This time the Captain, it seems, has notched up a much better daily schedule to spend time with youth to share some gyan and his favourite disciple has been Nogyan according to sources. We would say the Captain has made the right move this time, unlike last time where he chose an old bald man to do the knowledge-transer and trusted him so much that he handed him the last over in the final. Luckily due to the foolishness of the ass, Mesbah-ful-fuq of Fakistan we won the Championship. Luckily this time around Nogyan has snatched this slot from gully-cricket's 12th man, Rogi, whom even the EnnadaRaskalas are trying to dispose next season.

Bihari Babu:
Only player from the Bottewalas included in the WC. Mallaiah would be surprised to know his team has got atleast one worthy player. He is the most clever bowler the team has. He knows how far and fast he can deliver, has a nice grip on the ball, comes in smoothly and can bang too often! Did you guys see his omni-directional swinger. Oh boy, he does that so often and that's his BrahmAstra. What the phuck was Mallaiah thinking when he dropped him for a few matches? It seems he was seen swinging around with Mallaiah's Mischeif girls and was punished.

I have a question for you guys. Why doesn't he tuck his shirt in? You would hear him say "Abey maaaain kyaaaa Lalllu dikhru kya bey! Issssstylll hain gaaoon kaaa" . He can bat too and his cameos in the Premier League, especially the one against EnnadaRaskalas makes him as team's worthy tail. I don't think the humid Angrezabad conditions would dampen his deadly swingers. We all would like to see him rip the madazzez in his trademark isstyle -- stuble and loosely-left shirt.

Inu Beta:
Don't you guys think Beta's biggest misfortune is to be picked up by RaatSawaris. As there's no tax for one's height he has grown as an electric pole but he has made very little difference for RaatSawaris's miseries. You would agree if I was to say the RaatSawaris did the impossible....shock this electric pole itself. You wouldn't expect to see him bat in the Premier League with a "burning" helmet in every match but that has been the fact. Though he is the little son of the team and has been right on the batsmen's ass all this while, he just ruined his form being in the wrong place in the wrong time of his career. Thanks to his coach Bhooka Naan for all his out-of-the-box experiments with poor little Johns.

A careless owner, madazz coach, luckless captain, oldazz icon wouldn't inspire any soul on the planet to contribute. Having no reliable bowling pair except the tactless Parajitkar, who has lost his last chance to make a comeback to the team added to his woes. It's sad to see his pace, bounce and magic disappear. No fault of his, probably he could to be taken to the rehabilitation centre for regaining his senses, pride and most importantly his mind. Who do you guys think could have survived the madazz phirangi babus' coaching classes. News of he eyeing the Bhootnaths for the next Premier League season is making rounds though.

Father:
The Big Daddy of the team's bowling attack in the 21st century. Alas, his transfer from Bottlewalas to AslamBhais didn't help him nor his team. The worry is his fitness for the WC as he has been seen in the dug-out most of the time. Would he be fit for the WC? Can he bowl with the same killing-spirit? We don't want him to be teaching cricket to some Memsahib most of the time who keeps arguing why a no-ball hasn't made the batsman moving from the crease though his stumps are toppled. Memsahib's textbooks say whenever the wickets are toppled it's out. Memsahib, better go and serve the your Shripati Boonbaniji please. Father was in good business whenever he played in the Premier League though.

We all want the good news,and that's he getting back to the form he was in on the tour of Naya Land where he was the cream of the bowlers. He has been out of action for almost the entire Premier League. Wishing him a speedy recovery to start asskicking in cricket's holy land.

Munna Bhai :
Good to see him play the game nowadays rather than getting involved in monkey-business and slapping good-for-nothing shit-lickers. He has to be praised for playing a major role in AslamBhai's limited success in Premier League. Spin has been the mantra this season and apna Munna Bhai stuck to his line and length beautifully. He may not be the murderer who ends the batmen's stay at the crease but definitely is the front-line soldier who stalls the incoming onslaught.

What's surprisng us is his contribution even with the bat. Has Dennis Khujlee been teaching how to handle the bat to his bowlers in his academy? Fact is, he's currently the only player in his team to have more number of sixes than fours in his account in the Premier League. No matter how he holds his bat and the strange face he has while batting as though there's some frog biting around his crotch, he has been impressive.

But as one said, a Sardar is always a Sardar. Someone has to be right behind the "MunnaBhai of Mumbai" to shut his ass everytime it bosses around. Now that the "monkey-man" has got a clean shave, he better becomes "maa-ki" (Mother India) beta and serves properly.

Chote Miyan:
At last he's bowling faster than Jumbo. I couldn't help myself switching off the TV looking at Jumbo bowl at 105 and Chote Miyan touching 105-110 consistently. It's a big relief to see this immensely talented Gujju regain his rythm from the slump he hit couple of years ago, thanks to Guru Greg. The Aussie can be christened "STINKING ASSHOLE" without any second thoughts.

He came, He saw, He ruined, He left. Finding no job to earn his bread in Australia and having "middle-fingered" by CA, he somehow got the most lucrative job in the nation. the board should have long back asked the municipal corporation to clean the shit out of the team before Guru Greg made it an annoyingly yellow-stinky-pachku-mass. It was not only Chote Miyan's confidence level hitting the Pacific bottom but also the change that one could make in his action from his early days. He had stopped jumping and rather took a longer stride at the crease and thus losing his pace completely.

Leaving the past we all are pleased to have an extra bowler-batsman to exploit the damp pitches of pathetic cricket fans' homeland, England. Don't you guys think we saw a good improvement in his batting technique in the Premier League and he's no more a duck-hunter.

Rajput:
His name reminds us of a majestic Rajput King, thick in a battle, honing his sword with the slightest of efforts? Well, if that's the case move your ass and get a dvd of some "i-dont-care-who-the-phuck" starring royal Bollywood movie of 1970s. We are talking about the best "swinger" the team has currently and he does that without even the slightest of efforts. But suffering with injury, Rajput has off-late stopped RiPping batsman's madazzez for over an year. If you ask me did he ever make a batsman shit in his pants, go and watch him in the last T20 world cup. Even more easier is to watch him play for Dakkhans in the IPL. His reverse-swinging ball while playing AslamBhais, just floated in the air and deceived even the Almighty, Little Monster.

He is fit enough and has got his ass burning and would look to cement his place back in the team. His economy rate of 6.5 in the Premier League and the ass-load of wickets that he has got, we surely have high hopes on this Deadly Charger.